


Warehouse (4)13

by fenHarel



Series: HSWC 2014 Bonus Round 3 [1]
Category: Homestuck, Warehouse 13
Genre: F/F, Gen, I could use the help, Jade is kind of Pete, Jane is kind of Mrs Fredric, John is kind of Artie, Kanaya is kind of Myka, Porrim is kind of Leena, everything is sort of there but sort of not, if anyone thinks of a better title please tell me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-29
Updated: 2014-06-29
Packaged: 2018-02-06 18:36:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1868160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fenHarel/pseuds/fenHarel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jade/Kanaya</p>
<p>AU where Jade and Kanaya are freshly recruited agents for Warehouse 13.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Warehouse (4)13

**Author's Note:**

> This is probably my favorite prompt filled yet, and the only one I'm 100% sure that I'm going to expand into something more than this lone chapter.

This is such Total And Utter Bullshit, as you made sure to vocalize at every possible opportunity that you had. That you and Jade have been transferred from the main branch of the Secret Service all the way out to a town in South Dakota that nobody bothered to properly name after saving the life of the President is the most ridiculous thing in that's probably happened in the entire history of the United States. Which, is you being highly over dramatic, but you had worked against all kinds of prejudice as both a woman and a troll to get where you are-were, and now it's being ripped out from underneath you. By a woman with a beehive, of all hairdos, who appeared in your apartment after an already long and bizarre day, and promised you "a world of endless wonder" after introducing herself as "Mrs. Crocker."

Honestly, you don't mind being transferred as much as you probably should because Jade's going with you, too. Which you hopefully won't blurt out during some moment that's already awkward to begin with. Even though her account of that night is incredibly questionable, you trust her with almost everything you have. After the vibe she had that wound up saving the life of the President, you're not going to doubt her more than absolutely necessary. There's something that she keeps separate from that goofy and flirty personality that she presents to the world, and between the serious moments she has while off duty and her amazing proficiency as an agent, she's earned your respect and then some.

You've mulled over these things while driving from DC to Univille. When you get there, you were confused by the last few directions, but roll with it, and arrive at a warehouse of awe-inspiring size. Jade's outside and waiting for you, and she lights up in a breathtaking grin as you make your way to her from your car. She teases you about your sedate driving and before you can tease her back, an older man with a bit of a pot belly and truly spectacular arms opens the warehouse's front door and introduces himself as John and after checking his watch, immediately demands you take three steps to the right. 

Confused, you obey just as a football comes whistling out of nowhere and lands where you had been standing. John asks Jade if she wants to throw, since she hasn't done sports since college, and she enthusiastically agrees. She scoops it up and throws it with a precision that would probably put professionals to shame, and then John ushers the two of you in with the declaration that there's hot cookies waiting and they shouldn't be left there unattended! You've already decided that you rather like John, and when Jade hangs back a bit to whisper that he gives her a good vibe, you're more than pleased that he has Jade's stamp of approval.

When he offers the plate of cookies, you politely take one and Jade takes at least five. Side eyeing her seems to have gotten her attention enough to say something about how keeping herself as athletic as ever leaves her constantly starving. You think. It was a little hard to understand past all of that cookie in her mouth. Honestly, was she raised by wolves or something? It wouldn't kill her to either speak before shoving food in her face or wait until after she swallowed it. John's snickering over the two of you, and you can't help the huff before nibbling on a cookie.

You immediately pick up another one, because good Lord these are the best peanut butter chocolate chip cookies you've ever had.

Apparently that last bit was something you said out loud, because John's proudly stating that it was his father's recipe. He looks a little wistful, and then claps his hands and announces that it's time to get you and Jade introduced to the warehouse-Warehouse, rather, he's put enough emphasis on the start of the word for you to catch that, and heads over to the other office door. With a flourish, he throws open the door and says "Welcome...to a world of endless wonder." Which you totally thought was bullshit when Mrs. Crocker said it, but now you're looking at what appears to be the endless inside of the Warehouse and the shock is written all over your face.

Jade's mouth is hanging open and revealing half chewed cookie...That is both disgusting and oddly charming.

John tugs the both of you along through some aisles of the Warehouse, and explains some of the history and how it's the 13th in its line. You note out loud that 13 can be a fairly lucky number, and you feel a little optimistic about your stay here now. He gives you an odd look before smiling, and continues on to mention that there's a manual that he'll give you when you leave the Warehouse to head to Porrim's B&B. You have every intention of reading that from cover to cover, and as if she reads this thought, Jade glances over at you and huffs a little. 

Just because she tends to skim non-science related things doesn't mean she gets to laugh at you for not wanting to accidentally break a new rule in a world where things don't make sense like they used to. 

As your short introductory tour comes to a close, you fiddle with the wishing part and wish that things would be back to normal. There seems to be a ridiculous amount of things for you to deal with now, and you really don't want to start on any of them. A ferret pops out of the damn thing, and you name it Karkat on an impulse, because somewhere you had heard that name once and recall liking it. This time all of your small group is laughing, because even you can admit that this is ridiculous. A little too late, you learn that it can't grant impossible wishes, so you decide to really embrace your new life.

Except those pesky feelings towards Jade. Those can get firmly shoved under the bed, and never come back to the light of day. 

After taking a moment to wish for ferret food and a cage, you and Jade get further driving instructions and arrive at the B&B. It's surprisingly homey, and when you meet Porrim, you're strongly reminded of your mother. She explains how things work around the B&B and when your stuff will arrive, and then leaves you to get settled with what you have in whatever rooms you choose. Jade makes a break for the bathroom, and after some poking around each unoccupied room, you find one that's actually part of the attic, with a king sized bed and drop all of your stuff. 

When Jade realizes what you've done, the two of you bicker back and forth until Porrim hears the escalating ruckus and comes to see what's going on. The both of you are refusing to bend while she watches until Porrim, who's at least three inches shorter than Jade and five shorter than you, hauls Jade over her shoulder and carries her down the stairs to the other bedrooms. Triumphant, you start settling your things in your room while exploring your new space. It isn't a whole lot, but you have a small but fully equipped bathroom, and you're thankful for it. Once you're done unpacking what you came with, about two week's worth of clothes and essentials (like your favorite novels), you settle on your new bed until dinner's called.

This isn't what you had been working for, but this is certainly something that you're going to be okay with.

**Author's Note:**

> In case you were wondering, Kanaya will briefly have a thing with the mysterious R. Lalonde, who had been bronzed (for over a hundred years now) previous to the beginning of the story. I seriously love this prompter, and I can't wait to write more for it. Best/worst crossover EVER.


End file.
